Does anyone have a document or brochure that they give to clients who are new to video production, to let them know how the process works?  Does something official looking exist out there in the public domain?

You mean like the clients rights waiver form they sign before entering the edit suite. Including clauses like:

In this room the the Editors word is final

The Client is only right WHEN they agree with the editor.

I knew there was something missing from my terms of trade!

This can be a real problem though if you're dealing with clients ignorant of the process.  It particularly bites if they ask you to do something that to them appears simple, but to you is a massive effects build.

The trouble is, if you do create some sort of explanatory document it's likely that your client wont read it anyway.  They will either assume that it's sales literature and may not read it, or assume that they already know all that they need to know about production, and won't read it.

 The clients that are truly dangerous to your bottom line are the ones who know just enough about the process to be dangerous, but not enough to fully understand or know what they're talking about.

In the commercial business, the dangerous ones are the veterans of "free cable production." In most cases, I tell 'em to go back to cable. I know that I am very fortunate to have the ability to do that. But just imagine a know-it-all client who wants to argue over every fee, because cable gave it to 'em for free. Then, imagine the look on their faces when you tell them "You know, you're right. You'd better call the cable company." My friends, it is a DELICIOUS feeling.

 Like you say Andy, it's nice to be in a position to turn away work!

Larry,

The funny thing is, some of them actually get it and stay - not always immediately - sometimes they wait a few days or weeks and call back. Some go back to cable, and aren't happy with what they get, and end up calling me anyway. Commercial production - it's not a career, it's an adventure.

 Hey Brickwad, ever had any of them looking at your monitor and telling you that their logo color is off ??? While they hold up the pantone color chart....

The other one that I love is when they want you to scale up the logo by a couple percentage points and move it over, then back, then scale it down (Of course it ends up looking exactly the same, only they feel that it somehow enhances the spot now).

I laughed when I read that it not a career but an adventure....I have this mental picture of Indiana Jones looking for the holy Grail of client approval.

Regards

 On the sliding glass door of my edit suite, the client comes face to face with Dirty Harry pointing his .44 directly in their face saying "Go ahead...make one more change!".

Back when I was cutting commercials I had a client get abusive because the dubs that we had supplied him were not the same as the master.  His dubs, checked on his monitor, were running down on the left, but they hadn't been on the master as viewed in our suite.  (Sad but) true story.

I don't know how you can educate people like that.

editzz01:

The other one that I love is when they want you to scale up the logo by a couple percentage points and move it over, then back, then scale it down (Of course it ends up looking exactly the same, only they feel that it somehow enhances the spot now).

When I was cutting video news releases a few years ago, we had a drug company client that did the size thing with the product shots of their pill bottles.  "A little bigger.  No, stop.  Now it looks fuzzy.  Smaller.  No, wait, bigger.  Oh, wait, now it's fuzzy again."

Eventually I had her come up next to me and watch while I increased and decreased the size one number at a time in the Effect Editor window.  "Ok, 24 looks pretty good.  Let me see 25.  Ok, that looks good, too.  What about 26?  That looks fuzzy to me.  Does it look fuzzy to you?"

I was unable to answer as just prior to the question I had shot myself in the head.

adios,
Carl

Ha, yeah I had that too

HD finish suite for an agency who had a huge medical supply company as their clients.  We are working on spots, trade show booth pieces, etc.  All shot in HD, special lens for acute focus, out of town directors, out of town finish.  Agency client right there all the way, on the set, offline and now we are just about done, spending big bucks in a Fire suite in Philly.  I mean we are putting in legal copy, etc. 

Suddenly the agency "art director" (who supposedly was on the shoot, nodding and having a grand time) gets up and says "this is not right".  Huh?  "Look, my storyboards are different from the screen.  We need to zoom out on this guy and move him over...and on this shot too..."   Gee Mr. Art Director, this is something that you should have brought up on the shoot WHEN YOU WERE TOO BUSY EATING DONUTS TO LOOK AT THE BIG MONITOR IN FRONT OF YOU.  We went back and forth over this, and it got to the point where this guy walked up and placed his storyboards next to the monitor to make his point.  I thought the director would jump out the window.  I think my Fire artist stuck a pencil in his eye.  Luckliy I had a flight out of there in a few hours.

We finally got him to understand the "process", but we had to have wasted $3,000.00 in that suite watching him argue and put his freaking storyboards up against the HD monitor in the suite.  Thankfully my budget ended when I handed over EDL's to the online house...arrrgh....it makes me uneasy just thinking about that session....

Larry Rubin:

 On the sliding glass door of my edit suite, the client comes face to face with Dirty Harry pointing his .44 directly in their face saying "Go ahead...make one more change!".

Larry, that is too funny! With your permission, I'd like to plagiarize that idea. I have the old standby on my wall: "We have good, fast, and cheap - pick two!"

 Go right ahead Andy, you have my blessing!